[that's part of the reason she asked, but right now that's what she feels like, above everything else. astray. lost, almost. trying hard not to be those things, trying as hard as she can to cling to the familiar. and she's finding it here, in Chandra. and she's. happy with that. she can live with that for now.]
Well, I believe it. You wouldn't put up with all of this if you didn't. [and she kind of. stops, and leans against Chandra, just a quiet nudge with the blanket still drawn tight around her body.] Thanks for... having a good heart.
[Chandra doesn't really know what else to say, so she waggles her fingers to call over the kitten squad and plunks back down, letting the furballs leap up into her lap.]
Sit with me. Let's...just relax and get to know the little ones better, yeah?
[it takes a long time for the word to come, like Emerald is trying very hard to get it out and come to a real conclusion about what to do next, but. once she says it, everything seems easier. she sits back down and she presses her body up against Chandra and she's still holding the blanket around her body like a cloak, and she just. lets one of the kittens clamber over into her lap and nestle down.]
[and Emerald's hand carefully comes out and starts gently stroking the kitten's fur, and there's peace on her face for a moment. a long moment. she just looks... happy. when her voice starts again, it's still dry, but she already sounds like she's in a better state.]
I always wanted to have a pet. But I never thought I could stay in one place long enough to give one the life it deserved. Even right now I don't think I could.
[Chandra's very content to let this one lie and not prod too hard. She gets it. The only reason she's adopted this time is because it's cold out and she's very...not cold...]
You can hang out with mine whenever you want. They like you.
[they do, don't they? Emerald... lets the thought roll around in her head. and realizes that the only reason she'd been trying to keep distance isn't a thing anymore. and having somebody to come home to again might not be that bad.]
My roommate disappeared. [she might as well admit that. no harm in it, probably.] And I don't think she's coming back. And the house I have now is really lonely without her. So... is the offer to move in here still on the table?
[it might take some time, but. she wants to be here with Chandra. she wants the warmth, she wants the companionship. the cats are cute, too. but it seems like just coming to that decision frees up a lot in her chest and there's that similar warmth coming through the Bond.]
Gods. I can't believe I've only been here for a few months... if anyone from home did end up here, they wouldn't even recognize me anymore. You probably already know the kind of person I was back home.
[she can. say it. she can still let herself say it. nothing bad is going to happen if she does. and she's drunk so she can still deny it (but how drunk is she if she can still think like that?) so it's safe. here. it's safe here.]
It feels better than being the bad guy. Even if no one would ever believe me. So I guess that's a start.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[Which, as she's sure Emerald has noticed, includes the six or seven half-grown kittens that have been prowling around the house this whole time.]
I only take in people I like.
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Well, I believe it. You wouldn't put up with all of this if you didn't. [and she kind of. stops, and leans against Chandra, just a quiet nudge with the blanket still drawn tight around her body.] Thanks for... having a good heart.
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[Chandra doesn't really know what else to say, so she waggles her fingers to call over the kitten squad and plunks back down, letting the furballs leap up into her lap.]
Sit with me. Let's...just relax and get to know the little ones better, yeah?
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[it takes a long time for the word to come, like Emerald is trying very hard to get it out and come to a real conclusion about what to do next, but. once she says it, everything seems easier. she sits back down and she presses her body up against Chandra and she's still holding the blanket around her body like a cloak, and she just. lets one of the kittens clamber over into her lap and nestle down.]
[and Emerald's hand carefully comes out and starts gently stroking the kitten's fur, and there's peace on her face for a moment. a long moment. she just looks... happy. when her voice starts again, it's still dry, but she already sounds like she's in a better state.]
I always wanted to have a pet. But I never thought I could stay in one place long enough to give one the life it deserved. Even right now I don't think I could.
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[Chandra's very content to let this one lie and not prod too hard. She gets it. The only reason she's adopted this time is because it's cold out and she's very...not cold...]
You can hang out with mine whenever you want. They like you.
[They really do.]
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My roommate disappeared. [she might as well admit that. no harm in it, probably.] And I don't think she's coming back. And the house I have now is really lonely without her. So... is the offer to move in here still on the table?
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[Yeah, it's totally okay. She's totally good with that and Liliana will be too. Emerald isn't exactly intrusive, after all.]
Just let me know when you want to. Then I'll send the golems to help.
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[it might take some time, but. she wants to be here with Chandra. she wants the warmth, she wants the companionship. the cats are cute, too. but it seems like just coming to that decision frees up a lot in her chest and there's that similar warmth coming through the Bond.]
Gods. I can't believe I've only been here for a few months... if anyone from home did end up here, they wouldn't even recognize me anymore. You probably already know the kind of person I was back home.
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[Okay, so she deserves a hug, is what she deserves. So that's happening again.]
A lot of people come from a rough background, and become real heroes.
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[she can. say it. she can still let herself say it. nothing bad is going to happen if she does. and she's drunk so she can still deny it (but how drunk is she if she can still think like that?) so it's safe. here. it's safe here.]
It feels better than being the bad guy. Even if no one would ever believe me. So I guess that's a start.
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[Believe it or not, she heard that from a gorgon.]